Typical of most young children my daughter has a fascination with physical features. Since she could speak coherently she has been describing people by the color of their eyes, the color of their hair, their size, and whether or not they are a boy or a girl, short or tall. I've never really given this habit much thought until her recent fascination with skin color.
She has a habit of grouping us at home by our physical features- saying things like "all people with blue eyes like chocolate and people with brown eyes don't," or "all the boys like corn and the girls like peas." This never really phased me (she was right) until recently when she started sorting us by the color of our skin. She has coined the term 'blonde skin' which is how she describes being white. We have talked briefly about race and when I exlained that some people are Black and some are white she countered that no one has black skin just brown.
Her innocent observations unnerved me. Is my 5 year old racist?! Why is she sorting us by our skin color? A few days ago she said "only people with blonde skin can color" as she was making a picture. Instinctively I told her not to say things like that, that it wasn't nice. But will my own preoccupation with skin color only perpetuate racist sentiment? Afterall, is what she said really any different than when she had sorted us by eye color, hair color, or gender? Ultimately I want her to look beyond all of those physical characteristics and see what is truly important. Maybe the best way to teach her that our physical traits are unimportant is to not overreact to the things she says when she has no idea of the potential offense she is committing.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Say it AGAIN! (They Obviously Can't Hear You!)
So what if it's been heard before? Clearly nobody is listening so let us say it (or sing it) again!
Lady Gaga's latest hit "Born This Way" has been criticized for being unoriginal. She has been accused of copying the music from Madonna's "Express Yourself" and the concept from a 1970's song "Born to Be Alive." As long as there is art there will be immitation and in my opinion that does not invalidate true art. All artists (musicians, painters, fashion designers, architects, etc.) are inspired by their predecessors and immitate them. "Born This Way" at the very least does remind me of Madonna and there is no denying that "Express Yourself" and "Born This Way" fit perfectly together in a mash-up. But isn't Lady Gaga's song the first to openly argue that LGBT lifestyle is not a choice but in fact a way that you are born? It is at least the first song to do it AND be this popular, right? What is it about human nature that makes us want to tear something apart as soon as it gains success? If nothing else this song provides a message that is much needed in our society- 'Love and accept yourself because you are not a mistake!'
Born This Way
by Lady Gaga
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born-
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be!
Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital h-i-m (hey hey hey)
I love my life i love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
Lady Gaga's latest hit "Born This Way" has been criticized for being unoriginal. She has been accused of copying the music from Madonna's "Express Yourself" and the concept from a 1970's song "Born to Be Alive." As long as there is art there will be immitation and in my opinion that does not invalidate true art. All artists (musicians, painters, fashion designers, architects, etc.) are inspired by their predecessors and immitate them. "Born This Way" at the very least does remind me of Madonna and there is no denying that "Express Yourself" and "Born This Way" fit perfectly together in a mash-up. But isn't Lady Gaga's song the first to openly argue that LGBT lifestyle is not a choice but in fact a way that you are born? It is at least the first song to do it AND be this popular, right? What is it about human nature that makes us want to tear something apart as soon as it gains success? If nothing else this song provides a message that is much needed in our society- 'Love and accept yourself because you are not a mistake!'
Born This Way
by Lady Gaga
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
"There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are"
She said, "'cause he made you perfect, babe"
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,
Listen to me when I say"
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Ooo there ain't no other way
Baby I was born-
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be a drag -just be a queen
Don't be!
Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital h-i-m (hey hey hey)
I love my life i love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Comedians Hit a Funny Bone or Hit a Nerve?
Last Saturday my husband and I went to the Comedy Cellar in New York City with some friends. The show was hilarious and we got to see a lot of really talented comedians. While watching the show I couldn’t help but think about how the comedians Saturday, and so many of today’s most popular comedians, play on our biases to write their jokes. Most notably comedians use racism and racial stereotypes but there is certainly some sexism and other ‘isms’ thrown in the mix. I couldn’t help feeling a sense of freedom at not only being able to laugh at these biased jokes, but at the fact that everyone in the room clearly understood and appreciated the humor even though a lot of it was blatantly bigoted. But mostly it got me thinking: why is the topic of race okay when comedians bring it up as a joke?
Obviously these racist scenarios and stereotypes resonate some degree of truth or else they would not be so universally funny. The truth is not the accuracy of the stereotypes but instead it is the fact that the stereotypes are simply flat-out wrong and yet they persist. Comedians are excellent at indirectly getting to the heart of real issues by poking fun at our own ridiculous biases and showing how easily they falter in the real world. What is it about our culture that only allows us to reach truth through comedy, as if that makes it any less true or us any less guilty of being racist or harboring racist sentiment?
Similarly, in our current polarized political landscape, the only news shows worth watching are the ones that don’t claim to be real news outlets but instead call themselves comedy shows; shows like The Daily Show often get at more truth and real issues than the actual “news” broadcasts ever do. Why is that?
Maybe we are just taking ourselves too seriously. In an age of political correctness, have we maybe gone too far? Biases are, after all, human nature; we all have them- good, bad, profound, superficial. I’m not trying to say that racism is right or okay but I do think that we should stop trying to hide it, or at least stop trying to disguise it with humor. On second thought if the humor is the only way to get to the truth then we shouldn’t stop the jokes. Instead maybe we should take some of that insight into our everyday lives. The simple fact that these biased jokes make hundreds of thousands of people laugh has to mean that we all secretly know the truth right? We all really know that we are all really racist, or sexist, or whatever. What if we stopped taking it so seriously? Could that be a way to actually overcome it? If race stopped being such a taboo topic, maybe we could finally overcome it‘s subsequent ‘ism.’ Exposing our biases might just make them disappear. Sure comedians will have to write new material, but there will always be in-laws.
Obviously these racist scenarios and stereotypes resonate some degree of truth or else they would not be so universally funny. The truth is not the accuracy of the stereotypes but instead it is the fact that the stereotypes are simply flat-out wrong and yet they persist. Comedians are excellent at indirectly getting to the heart of real issues by poking fun at our own ridiculous biases and showing how easily they falter in the real world. What is it about our culture that only allows us to reach truth through comedy, as if that makes it any less true or us any less guilty of being racist or harboring racist sentiment?
Similarly, in our current polarized political landscape, the only news shows worth watching are the ones that don’t claim to be real news outlets but instead call themselves comedy shows; shows like The Daily Show often get at more truth and real issues than the actual “news” broadcasts ever do. Why is that?
Maybe we are just taking ourselves too seriously. In an age of political correctness, have we maybe gone too far? Biases are, after all, human nature; we all have them- good, bad, profound, superficial. I’m not trying to say that racism is right or okay but I do think that we should stop trying to hide it, or at least stop trying to disguise it with humor. On second thought if the humor is the only way to get to the truth then we shouldn’t stop the jokes. Instead maybe we should take some of that insight into our everyday lives. The simple fact that these biased jokes make hundreds of thousands of people laugh has to mean that we all secretly know the truth right? We all really know that we are all really racist, or sexist, or whatever. What if we stopped taking it so seriously? Could that be a way to actually overcome it? If race stopped being such a taboo topic, maybe we could finally overcome it‘s subsequent ‘ism.’ Exposing our biases might just make them disappear. Sure comedians will have to write new material, but there will always be in-laws.
Friday, April 15, 2011
When Will Women Get What They Want . . . . Without Feeling Judged or Guilty?
Somehow in the fight for women’s rights we lost our right to be mothers.
Women today can do and be anything. Over the past 50 years women all over the country have fought hard to obtain the equal rights we enjoy today. Though we still fight to obtain equal treatment and recognition with our male counterparts, we are undeniably in a far better place than we were 50 years ago, right?
I think the answer is yes, but while we have come a long way we are certainly no where near there (wherever “there” is).
In an interview on Terry Gross’s show, Fresh Air, Wednesday, April 13th, guest Tina Fey discussed some of these issues and how she brings them up on her show, 30 Rock. While listening I was annoyed by a clip played from an episode where Tina Fey’s character, Liz, tries to talk a young 20-something out of her decision to marry. As it turned out, my annoyance vanished with my laughter as I listened to the ridiculous clip. The 20-something explains to Liz how she has known her fiancé for “2 months in 3 weeks” and how she wants to have babies before she misses the window to be a hot mom.
But the topic still made me wonder; what would someone like Tina Fey have to say about me? I’m 20-something, married and have 2 children. Going against the current trend of putting family on hold in order to work on a career, I put my career on hold in order to have a family. While I’m pretty sure that if I ever had the chance to talk to Tina she would not accuse me of having babies young in order to be a hot mom, I do worry about what people think of me because of the choices I’ve made. What stereotype do I fit into? And why am I so preoccupied with this?
Maybe part of the reason is because of the way friends ask me how I am; patronizingly as though there is no possible way I could be 25, married, raising two children AND be happy. Well I am happy! And the only things standing in the way of complete bliss are the stigmas put on young motherhood by our society that simultaneously fights for the rights of women! Well, which is it? Can women be whatever they want to be? Or is the truth more that we can be whatever we want to be as long as it fits into the status quo and what authorities on the subject deem to be the best choices.
But wait one second, what were women of the last hundred years fighting for if not the right to have the freedom to be what and who we want to be; whether that is a mom and a wife, a relentless career woman, a nun, or a stripper?
Tina and Terry go on to discuss the double-standard of women as sex symbols and as I listened to Tina Fey I realized that she most certainly gets it. She sums it up brilliantly:
"It's just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves — whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It's a complicated issue, and we didn't go much further on saying anything other than to say, 'Yeah, it's a complicated issue and we're all kind of figuring it out as we go.'
" . . . But I find it interesting that Olivia [Munn, a correspondent on The Daily Show] gets people who go after her on some of these sites because she's beautiful, and that's part of it. I think if she were kind of an aggressive, heavier girl with a Le Tigre mustache posing in her underpants, people would be like, 'That's amazing. Good for you.' But because she's very beautiful, people are like, 'You're using that.' It's a mess. We can't figure it out."
It is a mess indeed! But brave people like Tina Fey, who slap you in the face with these issues on shows like 30 Rock, will help us figure it all out.
Listen to Wednesday's Fresh Air interview with Tina Fey
Watch "TGS Hates Women" 30 Rock Episode
Women today can do and be anything. Over the past 50 years women all over the country have fought hard to obtain the equal rights we enjoy today. Though we still fight to obtain equal treatment and recognition with our male counterparts, we are undeniably in a far better place than we were 50 years ago, right?
I think the answer is yes, but while we have come a long way we are certainly no where near there (wherever “there” is).
In an interview on Terry Gross’s show, Fresh Air, Wednesday, April 13th, guest Tina Fey discussed some of these issues and how she brings them up on her show, 30 Rock. While listening I was annoyed by a clip played from an episode where Tina Fey’s character, Liz, tries to talk a young 20-something out of her decision to marry. As it turned out, my annoyance vanished with my laughter as I listened to the ridiculous clip. The 20-something explains to Liz how she has known her fiancé for “2 months in 3 weeks” and how she wants to have babies before she misses the window to be a hot mom.
But the topic still made me wonder; what would someone like Tina Fey have to say about me? I’m 20-something, married and have 2 children. Going against the current trend of putting family on hold in order to work on a career, I put my career on hold in order to have a family. While I’m pretty sure that if I ever had the chance to talk to Tina she would not accuse me of having babies young in order to be a hot mom, I do worry about what people think of me because of the choices I’ve made. What stereotype do I fit into? And why am I so preoccupied with this?
Maybe part of the reason is because of the way friends ask me how I am; patronizingly as though there is no possible way I could be 25, married, raising two children AND be happy. Well I am happy! And the only things standing in the way of complete bliss are the stigmas put on young motherhood by our society that simultaneously fights for the rights of women! Well, which is it? Can women be whatever they want to be? Or is the truth more that we can be whatever we want to be as long as it fits into the status quo and what authorities on the subject deem to be the best choices.
But wait one second, what were women of the last hundred years fighting for if not the right to have the freedom to be what and who we want to be; whether that is a mom and a wife, a relentless career woman, a nun, or a stripper?
Tina and Terry go on to discuss the double-standard of women as sex symbols and as I listened to Tina Fey I realized that she most certainly gets it. She sums it up brilliantly:
"It's just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves — whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It's a complicated issue, and we didn't go much further on saying anything other than to say, 'Yeah, it's a complicated issue and we're all kind of figuring it out as we go.'
" . . . But I find it interesting that Olivia [Munn, a correspondent on The Daily Show] gets people who go after her on some of these sites because she's beautiful, and that's part of it. I think if she were kind of an aggressive, heavier girl with a Le Tigre mustache posing in her underpants, people would be like, 'That's amazing. Good for you.' But because she's very beautiful, people are like, 'You're using that.' It's a mess. We can't figure it out."
It is a mess indeed! But brave people like Tina Fey, who slap you in the face with these issues on shows like 30 Rock, will help us figure it all out.
Listen to Wednesday's Fresh Air interview with Tina Fey
Watch "TGS Hates Women" 30 Rock Episode
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